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Its traffic jumped 221% in the past year, according to Com Score."The core idea was to build an offline dating site that made it easy for people to say what they want to do for a date, connect and get offline," says Brian Schechter, 33, co-founder and co-CEO of How About We, which launched two years ago.

Although he just turned 50 in September and isn't an AARP member, Ken Nicholas signed up with How About We this fall because he "liked the premise of taking it offline."Nicholas, a sales consultant in Los Angeles, was married for 12 years; he says it was difficult to get back into dating after his divorce was finalized in August.

The AARP partnership with How About We is part of the broader evolution under way among dating websites to focus more on the elusive ingredient that the online environment has never been able to provide: a reality check.

Older sites such as and newer ones such as Dinner Date, Cupid Radar and Grouper, all are focusing on the importance of a personal connection offline that just can't happen via technology.

He had tried a few online dating sites with "really terrible experiences."His date suggestion: "How about we start with coffee and end with wine.

Add some art or culture in between and it could be fun." That got him a few dates, including one woman he's seen several times since.

We've found most of our relationships — whether romantic relationships or just friends — happen a little more organically. "Most dating sites skew toward guys, with more guys than women. Being a 75-year-old single man is the equivalent of being a 21-year-old hottie."That's good news for AARP member Judith Schwartz, 65, of Clermont, Fla., an IT consultant and adjunct professor of computer science who began online dating after her husband died in 2008."The younger men were primarily interested in sex and the older men were primarily interested in having somebody take care of them," she says.

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