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Having once been a serial cheater and self-confessed love addict, Persia Lawson spoke to .
‘For that reason, the feeling of being in love evokes a similar response to using drugs or alcohol.
Two years into her current relationship, this is what Lawson credits as the foundation of the happiness she has found with her boyfriend.
might be too strong of a word (perhaps), but if you’re past the age of 30 and you’re either single or divorced, you can probably admit there were some relationships you experienced that were more like one long emotional roller coaster ride than a smooth sailing journey. It took being single (and abstinent) to be able to see all of this for what it is; to be able to stop looking from “the inside out” and instead from “the outside in” of the cycle that I was in so I could break it.
‘I had a client who was struggling with all sorts of things, and she was obsessed with this idea of a really sexy, crazy, violent relationship.’ Lawson tells Dating the wrong person can create a toxic environment, prompting irrational and impulsive behaviour, ‘which might be anything from one night stands, to cheating, to going to strip clubs or developing an unhealthy relationship with porn.’ Lawson says.
Her view is that ultimately this stems from a fear of intimacy; ‘I was terrified of commitment and that’s why I was so disruptive in all my early relationships.’ The biggest problem that Lawson sees in her female clients is an attraction to unavailable men. ‘Because we’re terrified of rejection, so we chase after people we know we can’t have.
A quick way to know if you are in a healthy relationship is to ask yourself if the person you are dating is making your life better. When we let people mistreat us, it takes a toll on other aspects of our lives too.2. Is your relationship encouraging you to become someone else?
If someone is trying to change you, they aren’t deserving of your time.
It's ironic, the more time I spent with him, the more alone I felt, yet somehow I feared the unknown more. Truth is, I let him treat me badly and that's tough to swallow.
And the more obvious question: why was I dating him?
Before I met my prince of a husband, I dated this guy I can't even think about for two seconds without cringing. We went on a cruise together and not only did I pay my own way, but I also bought my own drinks. Then he started dropping clues that I wasn't his type at all. I can find all sorts of ways to justify staying with him — we took cool trips, we did adventurous things like rappelling and mountain biking, but the relationship drained my spirit. Worse, I never seized my moment to let him know he’s a colossal cad and that I deserve to be treated better.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating